her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
