Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
