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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize