When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
