I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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