What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
even my farts smell like vagina
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
