And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just pee around me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
