Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
did i walk over a car last night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
