1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
