I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
