absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
