Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
