was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She told me I should be a condom model.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
