I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
