where am i from again
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
