first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
