I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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