ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
