OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
