I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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