Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
