you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
