Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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