Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
