well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
