420 ftw
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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