Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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