11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize