You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
