on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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