Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
