OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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