I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
