Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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