Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
