hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
