WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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