Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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