watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
