Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
