Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
