i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
