my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
