Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
