You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
