Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
