I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
