hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
