batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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