he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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