my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
