it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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