From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
