I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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