I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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