i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
