i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
