Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
