i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
