If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Come on in and take your pants off
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