She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
