What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
foreskin is a definite game changer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
