Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
