apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
