i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
