I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
